Friday, 26 February 2010

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life...

A little note on the imminent vacation of that legendary place in Thanet Lodge.

The thing that I appreciate more and more down here turns out to be time. It wasn't natural or immediate and I have to admit that I still catch myself more than frequently wasting it away (I mean of course forgetting of its passing, missing the very presence of it and taking it for granted). And it is every aspect of time that I see in a new light: the passing of time, the feeling of time, the touch of it, the memory of it. And it has become more tangible, richer and softer at the same time, slower of course and in a strange fashion it seems augmented, swollen and more of it!

Even more than that though I'm constantly aware of a strange awakening, that is the appreciation of time past that springs to life vividly and surprisingly. And without being able to explain how, the respect to current time, every second of it enhances the reality of the time past, gives it an unnatural weight and color and smell and merges the two in a seamless continuum. I dare say that it presents glimpses of times to come also, not necessarily in the metaphysical way but at least in the form of a believable illusion.

And it is all these memories and all those individual moments, all that time that felt like an inevitable eternity at the time that has transformed in an even stronger inevitability that have shrouded Thanet Lodge. And in this way it is solid, ever-present and not missed any more.

All these thoughts have been lingering in my mind for the past 12 months, triggered by greater loss and solidified by the vacation of that institution-of-a-flat in Koupa 20, my sister's place in Athens. I now realize that it was this very respect of time that was needed to put all these in context. Making peace with time that will open the door to it's immensity, continuity and inevitability, that will merge time past and it's heavy burden with that of times to be and their weight of expectation. And memories of past and future, galvanized every single second that passes through the non-existing, hallucinating present. And all this is true because time exists irrespectively. I thought it didn't but now I know it does.

Did it make sense? I have no idea, but here's the link to the title again. There's always a light, bright side of life, a wink at this mystery, a peace treaty with Time and I find the following photograph, time captured essentially, time frozen and preserved-1/200th of a second of that eternity, reminding me of that: